All I want for Christmas is a Tenori-on.






Then, I can play with music like Little Boots:



Ah, yep, yep! Just a few thousand dollars for one, Santa Baby.

Alice said, "I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!"
Oh, won't someone please go see this movie with me?

// The Mortified Shoebox Show //

"Baby, I'm HON-gray...."

I was staying the night with one of my girlfriends after a basketball game. She was the tall, talented, athletic type - and her dad was the sort of man that practiced rebounding drills with us in the driveway - and had coffee with our basketball coach once a week. You could say I looked up to him. I definitely respected his opinion. Mostly because he actually HAD an opinion to share with me - and I thought that was cool. He'd tease me about my bellbottoms and long hair. He liked to call me a "hippie" - but, mostly - he seemed to actually believe that I had talent on the basketball court. And, he believed in our entire team - all of us girls.



Lots of times, I can remember watching the games that he recorded for us - and breaking down the plays with my friend. You could always hear him giving us tips, as we played - so that when we watched it later, we'd see what it was that he saw.



So, like I was saying, we had just finished a basketball game and I went to stay the night at my girlfriend's house. We were hanging out in the living room with her entire family - just talking.I can't remember if we won or lost - because my freethrow shooting was so horrendous, that the night felt like an epic fail to me. So much so, that my friend's father asked me if I'd been putting in my time at the freethrow line.



I remember clearly, that the entire week, my coach had been working with me to help me pull in my elbow and "correct my form". While I had been much better at freethrows, previously. My "form" was off - my elbow stuck out to the right side - and, my coach wanted me to pull my elbow directly below the ball - and, follow straight through...so, I had shot the way Coach instructed me to shoot - and I missed 75% of my shots that night.



After explaining my case to my friend's dad, he let a gem of an expression go - that has stuck with me ever since that night:



"Hillary," he said, "Excuses are like assholes. Everyone's got one - and they alllll stink."



It's true. So true. And, MAN have I had a ton of excuses lately. For everything - from not working out to not going out with my friends.



So, check this video out - and let's all stop making excuses. 'Cause, really guys....they DO stink.

oh, blah.

seriously, just blah.

i am in such a FUNK, lately. let me recall a few quotes from my nearest and dearest, just so you can begin to understand the shittiness of my recent disposition:

"helga, you've really gotten dark lately." -mads

"baby, you've really got to quit talking like that." -elliott

"do you need me to come down there?" -momma

"first of all, honey, you need a VACATION." -paul

i suppose the best way to surmise exactly how i've been doing is this:
bad.

if it's bad for you, i've been doing it.
if it's tiring, upsetting, or just plain awful - i've probably thought about it, dealt with it, or had to try and overcome it over the past couple of weeks.

in short, i pretty much hate waking up every day.

now, take that bad attitude, and juxtapose it with this:
one of my good friends from back in the day (who is beautiful, and saucy, and funny, and from miami-but is now in NYC)...well, she's been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
and what does she do? she goes and becomes one of the most positive, determined, beautiful, inspiring people she could possibly be.

and, i'm reminded of another saying someone once said to me:
"hillary, some people have REAL problems." -jed

well, he's right. and, you're right. and, i am very, very wrong.

but, what am i supposed to do to turn the grey goo between my ears towards a more positive radio frequency? i really don't know how.

and, for some reason. sari's beautiful optimism got twisted up in my head and made me feel even worse. if i hate being around planet earth so much, then it's the people like me that deserve to be sick, not her.

the world is increasingly confusing and upsetting to me.

i am entirely too sensitive for this place. no lie.

i know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's what i needed to write.

ps. i've started playing the guitar, and i've been writing my first song these past couple of days. that has been one source of amusement. though, the entire time my mind is saying, "oh, God...this is bad. something bad is bound to happen because you're not working....you shouldn't be doing this." to that voice i say, "shut up. you get 23 1/2 of the hours of my day...right now, i'm gonna play guitar." and then, the voice in my head usually just resolves to telling me how shitty my playing and writing is, until i give up.

p.p.s. thank God, my momma is flying in, today. this isn't the first time she's had to come in and pick up where i left off in liife.

I want to write words -

beautiful words that communicate profundity.

It's difficult to be profound -

when your only news is that you turned your quarterly report in on time.



Oh, and, Pay Day is this Friday.



My friend sends me pictures of her girls -

all I can do is talk about my personal turmoil.



Who didn't call

Who didn't write

Who asked me for a work favor

Causing me to stay up all night.



She doesn't complain

about bottle feeding andbaby wipes.

She understands the power of her embrace

to her children - versus the night light.



My life consists of Gideon's Bibles & hotel bathrooms

accidentally stumbling toward the closet

in the middle of the night.

Her life consists of packing lunches,

and teaching her children how to do what's right.



I don't understand life, yet - neither does she.

But, I say "yes" to life.

And, I'm beginning to see:

I have to believe we're both- Right where we're meant to be.



This video below is a performance by Ms. Andrea Gibson. Her poem is so powerful.

God bless you, Andrea.

You are a true Poet. You speak to my heart.

This kid is ALREADY better at rhythm guitar than me.
Watch out for the solos - and the SINGING and riffing at the same time.
This guy is bad to tha' bone.

Well....I have to be totally honest - I've been so wrapped up in work, Work, WORK - that I've pretty much neglected everything else: from working out, to taking time to cook healthy meals, to walking Jackie Bear, to spending time with family and friends.  I have been CONSUMED by trying to keep up with the increasing demands of work.  Multiply that with financial concerns, death of a friend and colleague, and you can pretty well predict my approach to difficulties like this: 

I bury myself in work.

I haven't allowed myself "recess" except maybe twice in the past six weeks.  Thus, the lack of posting here on the site!  And, the constant feeling like I was going to burst into tears at any moment.  

I'm not gonna lie : Life has been pretty difficult, as of late.  For a lot of us.  But, I must say...

Even while I work - the idea of recess - of having fun with Life in general, is never far from my mind.  So, no....I haven't taken a regular recess in a while - but, I have decided that it's never to late to reinstate recess into my life.  So, today, I'm going to learn how to use that French Press that I have up in my cabinet - and try to make some coffee at home that kicks Starbucks right to the curb.  THEN, I'm going to write.  Yes, write.  Because writing to me - is like recess.  So, that's how I'll reward myself today - with my espresso strength homemade coffee - and some homespun story writing.

I've decided that going without recess is a terrible thing to do to yourself - and explains why I've been so cranky as of late.

Now, I did do a few neat things these past six weeks:  

I painted a picture.

I went to Alexander Deussen Park and rode bikes with Elliott and Jack.

I drew a cartoon version of Jack.

And, I'm kinda day dreaming of a children's book - featuring the adventures of Jack.  :)

He's so enthusiastic for life and for new experiences - he's an Adventurer!

Let's promise ourselves that we'll allow fun to happen in our lives.  

That we'll honor the "fun" inside each of us - and give it time.

'Cause, frankly....when we aren't taking time to develop that sense of wonder - that sense of humor - 

we kinda tend to be a drag.

Here's to being saved by the recess bell.

-h

It has been a MaJoR two or three months.  

I've been writing some poetry.  But, mostly, I've been thinking in poetry.

Sometimes, whilst running around frantically -one phone to my ear, the other ringing on my hip -

I can feel my heart protest by leaping right out of my chest

and wrapping it's white knuckled hands around the thick of my throat -

eyes bulging intensely.

It says, "No, I won't. No, I won't.  No. I won't."  

As steady as our Native drums.

No, I won't.

No, I won't. 

No, I won't.

It chants to my spirit -who sings, "Be".

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelieve.  Beeeelieve.  Believe."

And, once again - 

my heart is coaxed back inside its' cavernous home.

Chanting, chanting, chanting.

Oh, to find a new tune -

to be receptive to the age old tune of my spirit.

Believe.

Be. Leave.

Believe.

No, I won't.

I've been thinking a lot about taxes and other things of a political nature.  I've been considering what it means to be American - and what that requires of each of us - and I've been wondering why it seems that we've all become so pathetic about it.

Whining and complaining.  Crying around about how we're all being treated so unfairly - and how "they" did this to "us" - so "they" better fix it.

Since when did we as Americans decide that we'd participate in our Government (*DEFINE GOVT HERE) through TV Screens and Login Names.  Oh, but once every four years we'll march our Happy Meal hineys to the local library and cast our vote electronically.  

Because we have the American Flag on our bumper and listen to Toby Keith.

We mostly pay our taxes - we let them take some money from our paychecks.

And we answer jury summons and pay our traffic citations.

But, don't expect us to like it.  Don't expect us to participate beyond that.

Oh, America - 

When did we decide that we couldn't decipher the truth with our own ears?

Why do we resort to gargled up FOX / CNBC / HLN / News interpretations - from Crows mouths - feeding us like baby birds?

Why do we accepting what is fed, as truth.  Please, please, please start paying attention.  

Please determine the truth for yourselves.

Right now, I want you to go get your past two or three Pay Stubs. 

Go on - go do it right now - and I'll wait.

Oh, grab a pen while you're at it.

Ok.

Got it now?

Let's check this out:

Today, on April 15th - President Obama gave a speech about his Plan & Your Taxes.  It was a quick speech - just five minutes or so - but, what struck me was the fact that he BYPASSED the media!  He didn't deliver sound bites and video clips - he spoke DIRECTLY to the American People (you and me).  I was beaming ear to ear when I realized that!  

One of the things he said in his speech was that he had ALREADY cut Federal Taxes on all paychecks for folks who make less than $250,000 a year.  (That's me!)  He said that on April 1st the Tax cut went into effect; so, I took a look at my April 10th paycheck and compared it to my March 27th paycheck and SURE ENOUGH - Federal Taxes were lower by 2%.  Hey, I'll take a cut of 2% happily!  It's a start - if only my credit cards would cut my interest rates by 2%.  Anyway, I thought that was a cook example of how this is truly effecting ME.  Personally.

If you're interested in reading Barack's April 15 Tax Day Speech - You can read it here: http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/obamaforamerica/gGxvrx

He spoke to YOU and I - Directly!  He wants us to know that he understands that we are unhappy and confused by the current state of the Tax System.  He address that and tells of his plan to go through ALL the taxes with fine-toothed comb.  Looking to eliminate wasteful spending - and to reinvest in areas that will truly benefit you and I.

In the end - we'll be spending smarter - not spending more.

The truth is : Taxes are inevitable - if you are to live here in America.

There can be required more of you, like jury duty, military duty, civic service - only you can say...but, at the BARE MINIMUM - you're going to have to pay taxes.  So...if you want to have a say in how that money is spent - get involved in a proactive and positive way.  Get folks talking about it.   

Just this past week - I got an email about two political rallies happening in my town - they're happening all over.  Essentially, they are town hall style meetings, where you meet with a local person representing Obama - and you give feedback.  People - Obama is listening.  He wants to do what's right for all of us.  He wants to hear from you directly.  He's SPEAKING to you directly.

Go to the town meetings, if you can. Participate!

If you're interested in attending one of those meetings in your area - I found this site: 

http://my.barackobama.com/page/event/search_results?orderby=day&state=TX&country=US&event_type%5B0%5D=240&limit=100

Let's fix it, together.  Let's not sit around and wait for FOX or NBC to tell us whether we're happy with the government, or not.  Let's decide for ourselves.  

That's decide for ourselves what it means to be an American-today.

I've been traveling since March 6th - with only two or three nights in my own bed - often just a 12 hour lay-over in Houston before jetting off to the next event destination.  (I do event marketing to pay the bills - so, I often have to travel from city to city.)  

The month of March was in like a Lion and continued to roar all the way into April - and, after a five city tour that took me from Miami to Orlando to Austin,  home to Houston, and back to Miami - I am so happy to be at home in Humble, TX.  

It's funny to me that my tiny little patch of lawn brings such great pleasure to me.  And, I'd rather catch some rays in my very own hammock, than on a pristine beach with white lounge furniture - especially if the choice is that I must do these things alone.  There's something about the security and serenity of your own space that just allows you to be at home with who you are and what it is that you're doing at the time.  

When I'm out in the world, on my own - I find I often have to explain myself.  

Explaining yourself to strangers is such a surface exercise - and one that I find myself engaged in DAILY - when I'm on the raod.

For example, I was eating lunch in the South Beach sun, alone - as usual.  My salad and iced tea were delicious - and I was enjoying the variety of people that were buzzing by as I watched and ate.  An older woman caught my eye, she was animated and energetic as she strolled along with her two friends.  As they approached the restaurant where I was seated, her eye contact told me she had something to say to me.

She gasped, "Are you eating ALONE?"  

"Yes," I replied.

"I could NEVER do that!" she exclaimed, more to her friends than to me - at this point.  I responded, "Oh, I do it all the time.  Nearly every day."  

Shaking her head as she walked away, I heard her mutter, "Sad..."

What's so sad about being alone, anyway?  I mean, I feel it - I feel the sadness when I am alone.  More times than I'd like to admit - but, I also have found a sweetness to it.  There's a solidarity that I hold with myself.  I can say this much - I truly enjoy the company I keep when I'm alone.  I find myself and the expanse of my own mind to be quite entertaining.  And, I often surprise myself with my own reactions and responses to the world around me.  Like that lady, and her clucking tongue and sad, sad eyes.  

She felt sorry for me - and that made me sorry for her.

I understand her fear of being alone - but, somehow-God has allowed me the grace to understand that even when I'm totally alone and distanced by miles and miles to the nearest person who would claim to love me...I am not alone.  I'm more aware, at those times, of the one-ness of us all.  Of the collective energy of God's Universe and how we all play a part.  I'm determined for my part in the whole to be one of encouragement, or a smile, or a reinforcement of courage and integrity.  I want to add to the goodness of the world - and I want that to be evident when our eyes meet.

Don't pity me - encourage me, woman.  For you are as connected to the whole, as I.  

But, back in Humble, TX - on my hammock - I can allow God to rock me to sleep as I sing lullabies to the world - and, never once do I have to explain.

This Blesses me - everytime: Psalm 40:1-3 I waited patiently & expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit (a pit of tumult and of destruction), out of the miry clay (froth & slime) and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And, he has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall see and fear (revere and worship) and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord. Psalm 116:12-14 What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me? (How can I repay him for all his boutiful dealings?) I will lift up the cup of salvation and deliverance and call on the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord, yes, in the presence of all His people. Psalm 5:11 But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because you made a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits.

I have a sweet friend who is boarding a plane today - bound for love in NYC. They've been apart for months - and today will be reunited for four blissful days - in which she'll probably forego the sights of the city she's missed - for something that she's missed even more, him. I teased her, saying - "You probably won't even leave the apartment the entire time." Laughing, she nodded. I'm a hopeless romantic - and the song I included, above, is testament to that. Know, today, that romance and love are as alive and well as they ever were. And, anyone who says goodbye to you? Well, they're out of their mind. Love, me

(Photo: Gregory Corso, Beat Poet, from his Wikipedia page.)

I've been infatuated with the Beat Generation since I was introduced to them in seventh grade.  So much so, that I even wrote my first ever research paper about the entire movement.  Back then, before Wikipedia was invented - I had to use the card catalogue to search for Burroughs and Kerouac in the Cordell Library.  Not a lot of information was available to me - but, that was all the more fuel for my fascination.

Yesterday, as I was deciding how I wanted to spend recess - I stumbled upon a pocket version of poems called "Beat Poets" that was on my bookshelf.  Something I'd undoubtedly purchased years before - and hadn't looked at in ages.  As I settled into the sun on the back porch with my Sprite - I began to read the poems to myself, outloud.  After all, Beat Poetry is meant to be spoken - it INSISTS on being spoken.  The jazzy verbs leap off the page, transmuting the sound of my own voice into a Siren Song for the disillusioned.  Thirty pages into the volume - I found a piece that currently acts as a mirror, for me - reflecting my own innermost of thoughts and desires.  I'd like to share that piece with you, now.

WRIT ON THE EVE OF MY 32nd BIRTHDAY (a slow thoughtful spontaneous poem)

I am 32 years old

and finally I look my age, if not more.

It is a good face what's no more a boy's face?

It seems fatter.  And my hair,

it's stopped being curly.  Is my nose big?

The lips are the same.

And the eyes, ah the eyes get better all the time.

32 and no wife, no baby; no baby hurts,

     but there's lots of time.

I don't act silly any more.

And because of it I have to hear from so-called friends:

"You've changed.  You used to be so crazy so great."

They are not comfortable with me when I'm serious.

Let them go to the Radio City Music Hall.

32; saw all of Europe, met millions of people;

     was great for some, terrible for others.

I remember my 31st year when I cried:

"To think I may have to go another 31 years!"

I don't feel that way this birthday.

I feel I want to be wise with white hair in a tall library

     in a deep chair by a fireplace.

Another year in which I stole nothing.

8 years now and haven't stole a thing!

I stopped stealing!

But I still lie at times,

and still am shameless yet ashamed when it comes

     to asking for money.

32 years old and four hard real funny sad bad

     wonderful books of poetry

-the world owes me a million dollars.

I think I had a pretty weird 32 years.

And it weren't up to me, none of it.

No choice of two roads; if it were,

     I don't doubt I'd have chosen both.

I like to think chance had it I play the bell.

The clue, perhaps, is in my unabashed declaration:

"I'm a good example there's such a thing as called soul."

I love poetry because it makes me love

     and presents me life.

And of all the fires that die in me,

there's one burns like the sun;

it might not make day my personal life, 

     my association with people,

     or my behavior toward society,

but it does tell me my soul has a shadow.

     -Gregory Corso

Lovely.  Just lovely, Gregory.

Daily "recess" is a time to do whatever it is that makes me smile that day.  And, I've found that this time that I've set apart, each day, just for me - has begun to inspire me well outside of the 30 minutes of play that I allow myself.  For example, when shopping for groceries - I'll stop by the art supply aisle, just in case there's something there that would serve as a muse for a special outing or project during recess.  During one of those art supply aisle excursions, I found these watercolor "pens" by Crayola.  They're made for kids - so all of the ink is waterbased and easily cleaned.  Because they are "pens", you don't have to have a cup of water to dip into & you don't have to clean up any mess.  Just put the cap back on and you're done.  I LOVE that.  Soooooo.....of course, I had to have them.  And, during one of my recess times, I was testing them out- and created the little "life unfolds...we grow & grow" piece (pictured above).  

If you haven't allowed yourself to start practicing recess, yet - I invite you to do so.  Even if it's just one day a week for starters.  Allowing yourself time to revert to child-like wonder - it'll energize you more than that Venti Mocha Latte will.  I assure you.  And, you'll have everyone buzzing - wondering what it is that's giving you your glow.  

I'm serious, folks.  Play does that for a person.   Through recess, I've rediscovered:

-Powdered Donuts & Milk make a great afternoon snack.

-Swinging on the swingset pushes the reset button on your brain.

-Having races in the yard with Jack (he usually lets me win) is one of the best forms of fun around.

-Jumping rope is something you never forget how to do.

-Watercolors unlock a part of your brain you forgot you had access to.

-Hammocks are perfect for napping & reading.  And, if you close your eyes - it kinda feels like you're being rocked to sleep by God.  Which is a nice thought as you drift into dream-land.

-Poetry removes the scales from your eyes.  It's like seeing the world in HD.

What sorts of things are you doing on your recess time?  Please share them in the comments, below.

Another friend of mine passed away last week. She was younger than I, by a couple of years - and so thirsty for travel & experience. She'd light up when she spoke of Latin America - and she couldn't contain the joy when describing her latest excursions there.  She spoke beautifully, in three different languages - and, her calm, quiet demeanor always stretched out the canvas of the mind - upon which she'd paint the colorful stories of her love affair with all things Latin and Caribbean.  

She will be missed - but, more importantly, she will be remembered.  For what she valued, and what she shared - for what she stood for - and who she fell in love with.  She'll be remembered - she'll be carried on.

And, so, I'm reminded once again - that the things we spend so much of our time on - like worrying about the mortgage or the electric bill - those aren't the things that endure.

Sharing those experiences - sharing your insight - that is one of the richest gifts you could ever bestow.

I'm so thankful for Miss B - and for the time & the gifts she shared with me.

“Now I can let these dream killers kill my self esteem-or use my arrogance as steam to power my dreams!!!” - Kanye West







Kanye West has a polarizing effect on so many people. I hear so many people (often young kids) who are so "over" Kanye. Most often, people cite his arrogance as the reason they don't "like" him, anymore. Personally, I find his "arrogance" to be quite justified. No one else is doing what he's doing - and they definitely aren't keeping it as fresh as he is.



You don't have to like Kanye to recognize the artistic genius impulses of the universe are manifesting through him - because he has opened himself up to be a conduit. He speaks the truth - oftentimes to a point of hitting my already oversensitive nerves. He isn't perfect - but, he uses his platform to encourage, and to witness for the ultimate artist, our Creator -



“I ain't here to argue about his facial features Or here to convert atheists into believers I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way yall need Jesus"



Could it be that because he speaks to our darkest, dankest, most private of places - we feel exposed by him?



"When your message resonates with the people, then you know your message is from God, and we are building this movement in the interest of all of God's people."



I'm thankful that he's keeping it real - keeping it relevant, all the while - packing in Louis Vuitton luggage. His words and his art arise from a place that is familiar to us all. And, sometimes people get distracted by the GQ Covers, Videos, and Gossip Blogs - and lose part of that relevant message that he's really trying to share - which is to LIVE. To experience. To appreciate. To create.



For him, appreciation comes in many forms - Fashion, Art, Music - etc. But, don't get it twisted - the material things aren't what is providing him the happiness, nor the inspiration. It is his gratitude - and his presence of mind that is fueling this lyrical mad man.

He posts these sorts of things nearly every day on his blog: http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/

Please hear him when he says -



“We buy our way out of jail but we can't buy freedom, We buy a lot of clothes when we don't really need them, Things we buy to cover up what's inside.”



How dare he speak to our darkest, dankest, most shameful of secrets - and pull them out into the light of day? But, thank God that he does.



Because that is what art is - it is cathartic - and it is about evoking emotions and responses from others. Good art allows you to experience the pain or the joy of an experience outside of yourself. Something that perhaps you never would've even thought about - had this artist not introduced it into your psyche.



When I was training for theater at UCO - I learned that the first plays ever performed in this world were in ancient Greece. Recalling those painful days in eighth grade when your teacher forced you to read Oedipus Rex or some other Greek Tragedy - those were the first performance pieces known to man. Well, the Greeks and the Romans began to see merit in these performances - and in fact - valued them so much that they mandated all the citizens to come to the performances and watch. It was their belief that if the community experienced the joy, love, exhilaration, and then complete tragedy - by watching the play together - and reacting to it, together - it would cathartically release some of the audience's human impulses - and would help them to learn lessons on how painful one act of 'passion' can truly be.



Their thought was, if you witnessed the horrors of a murder - like in a Greek tragedy play - you'd be less likely to go out and actually commit a murder yourself. Because you'd have a frame-of-reference. It would allow you to empathize your way out of a tough situation.



The thought that the Greek Community would gather together, as a city, to expand their hearts and their minds - and that they valued the artists. That they would allow the actors to take them to the further reaches of their emotional capacities - that thought, alone, always made me feel so noble and justified about what I was doing, in acting.



And, really that holds true for any sort of creative expression. By creating and sharing, you are providing an outlet for new understanding - to so many different and receptive people.



I think about Kanye - and how he often brags about how luxe his life is - and at the same time will tell you realistically, that his heart is hurting, despite all of the trappings he has acquired. I can relate completely. I don't live the life he lives- and won't claim to have known the luxuries he's known - but, I have been afforded some opportunities to glimpse into that multi-billion dollar lifestyle - and I can say this much. It can be lonely in the back of a Bentley, too.







If you allow yourself to buy into the "American Dream" - you'll continue to chase Consumerism - all all it's trappings. Chasing things leaves you empty.



If you allow yourself to open to the possibility that God wants to do something in and through you - your possibilities begin to open along with your eyes. And, distractions will fall away. Practice gratitude - and practice really observing the wonders of the world - through your own artistic eyes. Love your experience of the world and all of its' vibrance. Then, seek ways to share what it is that you're seeing - and what it is that you are greatful for right now.

Share your stories - so that you might help others. And, oftentimes, for artists like Kanye - those stories and insights are expressed in song - or in this case- video:


KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

I'm so thankful that I already know that my time spent travelling First Class isn't going to fill my void. Rather, the times I spend with my first class friends and family - that will be the difference in true fulfillment.

Oh, Elizabeth - (author of the inspired novel - "Eat, Pray, Love" - Elizabeth Gilbert) You speak to my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you. PS. I think the TED Conference is uber cool.

A friend sent this "survey" to me - it was too much fun - I had to share it. I can't say I'd pick all of these songs for the true movie to my life - but, for the heck of it, it was fun to see what randomly popped up. I've included a few YouTube videos for some of the songs - so you can hear them. Here's the instructions, and my results:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For the first question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man! 7. Tag 10 people, and they have to do it too :) IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE???

1. Opening Credits: To Ramona - Bob Dylan

2. Waking Up: The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice

3. First Day at School: Oh Donna - MXPX

4. Falling in Love: Empty Shell - Cat Power

5. Losing Virginity: Ruby Soho - Rancid

6. Fight Song: Spaceboy - Smashing Pumpkins

7. Breaking Up: So Far Away - Donovon Frankenreiter

8. Prom: Nothing I Do - Jamie Cullum

9. Life: Eyes (Acoustic Version) - North Mississippi Allstars

10. Mental Breakdown: Right Between the Eyes - Garbage

11. Driving: Quiet - Smashing Pumpkins

12. Flashback: Blasphemous Rumours - Depeche Mode

13. Getting Back Together: Waltz, No. 2 (XO) - Elliott Smith

14. Wedding: Desperately Wanting - Better Than Ezra

15. Birth of a Child: Good Morning - Kanye West

16. Final Battle: If You Don't, Don't - Jimmy Eat World

17. Death Scene: Mad World - Michael Andrews & Gary Jules

18. Funeral Song: Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins

19. End Credits: It's All Over, but the Crying - Garbage (OMG.. how perfect is that?!?!? "Everything you think you know, baby - is wrong. And, everything you think you had, baby - is gone.")

Interesting.....